You turn me on, I'm a radio

My friends are funny.

2011-06-14T22:39:00.000-07:00

Zaida:
then you will be in court like a fancy person

Heather:
should i wear a wig?

Z:
only if it's mildly pink

H:

okay sure

i was picturing a powdered one though

like with a ponytail and crap

and maybe some sort of robe situation

Z:

oh i was picturing a floridian grandmother in a mumu with a mildly pink wig

yours makes much more sense

H:
both are pretty horrific

Z:
and glorious

I guess I'm a creepy stalker. ...Sorry?

2010-12-16T21:59:00.000-08:00

It just occurred to me today, as I was going through my routine blog-checking...I blog-stalk a lot of people. Like, a lot. And I don't mean public-ish blogs that are universally entertaining that many other people read or something. I mean that I keep tabs on the intimate, personal details of the lives of complete strangers.

Here's the thing though: a) I don't care, b) I love it, and c) these peoples' lives are better than my favorite tv shows. I can't miss the comedy/drama/plot twists/all-out-jackassery. Also, d) I enjoy making fun of people, which I'm trying to fix, but...I really enjoy making fun of people (but only when they are asking for it).

So since you asked, here's a sampling of those on whom I creep:

-a random girl in Tennessee. She is oh-so-entertaining, and I feel like if I ever met her in real life, we'd be great friends (but only if I refrained from telling her how much I love her blog).

-a girl I went to high school with. She posts recipes, and I pretend I cook.

-my ex-roommate who is now a militant lesbian. Self-explanatory.

-my friend's psychotic ex-girlfriend. She bugs, so I enjoy pointing at her entries and sniggering. (10 bad karma points)

-a girl I've never met that just went through a devastating family tragedy. But here's why I'm a horrible person: my fascination with her blog lies in the fact that she is ridiculous. Completely ridiculous. I'll just leave it at that since this entry has probably already short-listed me for an afterlife full of hellfire.

-the most grotesque marriage situation I've ever witnessed. The husband is openly gay, but married a (completely willing) girl anyway. They are sure this is going to go well for them. I can't say either way, but when you write posts talking about how your wife made you want to wretch and die on your wedding night, well...let's just say I'm riveted. Positively riveted.

-various and sundry people I know/friends of mine, which sounds perfectly normal and well within the bounds of propriety. And it would be....if any of those people knew that I had found their blogs online. I feel like it's akin to showing up to someone's large birthday party without an invite - not strictly a big deal, but still kind of creepy and sad.

So there it is. Who do you stalk?

This is a funny Youtube animal video and I don't even care

2010-12-01T12:18:00.000-08:00

Actually, it's off of "GodTube", which is just a whole other post entirely. But I digress.

Please watch this:

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=9MB9CCNU

And then tell me how to embed clips like this in my blog so that you poor people don't have to do so much clicking.

Many thanks.

The Onion Explains Me Better Than I Can

2010-09-10T18:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, last thing about New York. Promise.

But seriously, you guys, this article from The Onion made me cry-laugh for many minutes.

8.4 Million New Yorkers Suddenly Realize New York City A Horrible Place To Live

Priceless.

In case you don't have the time to invest in reading the whole thing, allow me to share with you a few highlights:

"... all 8.4 million citizens in each of the five boroughs packed up their belongings and told reporters they would rather blow their brains out with a shotgun than spend another waking moment in this festering cesspool of filth and scum and sadness."

Yes. Just yes.

"I always had this perverted sense of pride because I was managing to scrape by here," said Brooklyn resident Andrew McQuade, who, after watching two subway rats gnawing on a third bloody rat carcass, finally determined that New York City was a giant sprawling cancer. "Well, f- that. I don't need to pay $2,000 a month to share a doghouse-sized apartment with some random Craigslist dipsh-t to prove my worth. I want to live like a g-dd-mn human being."

"In addition, 3 million New Yorkers reportedly left the city because they realized the phrase "Only in New York" is actually just a defense mechanism used to convince themselves that seeing a naked man take a shit on a park bench is somehow endearing, or part of some shared cultural experience."

I saw a homeless guy puke down someone's back on the subway. And don't get me started on my living situations.

Golden words of wisdom. Here's to you, Onion!

Wanting

2010-08-26T21:06:00.000-07:00

I feel like all I do these days is want. Want want want. I want my own place. I want my car back. I want my business to be awesome. I want someone else to start it for me because starting is scary as hell for some reason. I want money. I want friends. I want to get married. I want to do good. I want to love and be loved back. I want to travel, and read, and create, and enjoy, and learn, and change, and bless, and do something important with my life, and sometimes I just want to do nothing at all. Want want want.

And most of the time, I think this is a good thing - wanting pushes me to think bigger and achieve more in my life, even if it's just brushing back up on knitting (I'm almost done with my hat, Jess!). Wanting forces me to evaluate where I am against where I want to be, and to act instead of just being acted upon.

But then sometimes I worry that wanting so much means that I'll just never be happy, that my heart will always be a little broken. Why is it that right as I check something off my life wish list, three more things pop up in its place like some sort of Hydra monster? Is there ever a point where everything is quiet and calm, nothing lacking, and I can just enjoy? Would that make me happy or just antsy?

I don't know why this sensation has been making me so anxious lately - it's not like I never wanted anything until now. I think since my move here signaled the end of my gypsy wanderings, and the beginning of a new (and probably very lengthy) chapter in my life, it's all feeling a little weightier than usual, and it's making me a little nuts. And I also think that there are a few things that I want now with a lot more intensity than I did before. But my conclusion thus far is this: I think wanting means you're still alive, and when you stop, you die (at least figuratively). And happiness means finding some sort of balance between the wanting what's ahead and savoring what you have now.

So that's my real goal of the moment. I'm trying to minimize my need to have everything now now now, and just enjoy what's happening around me. For the first time in a long time, I have down time. I get to see my family every day after almost a decade of being away. I get the luxury of time - time to regroup and recharge, to plan my next move, and to start building the foundation of my new life here. All of those are huge blessings, and I'm trying to be grateful for them while still plowing ahead.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Love/Hate Relationship

2010-08-23T22:33:00.000-07:00

I have a few love/hate relationships in my life, but the one I'd like to share with you today is my tempestuous affair with New York City. In list form, naturally.

What I loved (yawn)

-Seeing lots of famous/historic /touristy stuff all the time
-Living in such a hub of the world. Seriously, like 87% of what happens, happens in New York City
-Levain Bakery at 74th and Amsterdam. Their chocolate chip walnut cookie is easily the best cookie I've ever had...and let's just say I've been around the cookie block a few times.
-Easy access to the entire East Coast - mostly because states are the size of my grocery store here in Austin
-Pizza at 44th and 9th avenue. Everyone claims to have the best pizza in New York - this guy actually does.
-The reaction I'd get from people when I told them I live in New York and work at a record label (even though the reality was much less glamorous).
-Being able to check it off my life list. The fact that I'll never have to wonder about it is invaluable.
-Kristen Rock! (my roommate and personality twin - INFP's ftw!) Especially our long walks and deep (and shallow) conversations.
-The little girls I nannied for (and their mom). Such a great family, and I loved little Elsa and Callie like they were my nieces. I still miss them!
-Spring time, specifically the cherry blossoms. Gorgeous.
-Central Park in whatever season, but especially fall. Though I still get irritated when people refer to it as nature. It's a public park, people.
-Playing tour guide barbie when my friends came to town - it was usually my only excuse to do all that fun stuff.
-Having Preston, Courtney, and Jeff around
-Walking the Brooklyn Bridge
-Walking everywhere else
-Working at the label - such an incredible experience with such wonderful people.
-Trying fun new places to eat and talking life with Dagmarette

What I hated times 100 (much more interesting)

-How inconvenient everything is. Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is probably a hobo selling you an empty metro card.
-How disgusting the subways are. You guys. People POOP in them. It's not okay.
-The complete lack of space, including, but not limited to, personal space
-How I always felt grimy and gross, and had to wash my hands 10 times a day
-The lack of actual nature, including the sky
-The bizarre, manic pace of living
-How uptight and neurotic everyone is. Case in point: one time I almost ran into this feeble old guy in the subway and I got mad at HIM for being so slow. New York is where manners go to die.
-Never seeing my friends. There is no such thing as the casual hang out. All social interaction is done by appointment and in a very structured, activity-oriented manner. Kill me.
-How acutely aware you are of your economic status every minute of every day. I've never been more uncomfortably mindful of my broke-ness before.
-How ugly most of the city is. No one ever talks about it, but it's true.
-They also don't tell you how the city smells like fart and/or burnt cheese most of the time. Also true.
-Living without modern conveniences such as dishwashers, proper AC, garbage disposals, and bathroom fans (seriously?! it's foggy madness every time you shower!).
-Not being able to just pick up and go somewhere whenever I wanted (i.e. in a car - I really missed driving).
-THE WINTER. Omfg, you guys. The wind. The cold. The rain and snow and slush. It was a nightmare dipped in a punishment. Never again!
-Rude people. There were fewer of them than I expected, but basically anyone who worked in the service industry was part ogre.
-How aggressive I became while living there. Gross.
-How expensive it is. Seriously, it was like living in an airport. Tuna sandwich? That'll be 8 dollars. Tuna's very rare here...
-Very little time or energy to actually enjoy the city. One of the crueler ironies of el Big Apple.
-Pretentious corporate stooges
-Freaky stepford city moms
-Their mutant children (that they treat like walking resumes)
-Dogs peeing and crapping EVERYWHERE
-It seemed like most of the people in my church out there were kind of bad people. Since when does living in a big city excuse you from obeying ALL the rules? I'm looking at you, pervert roommate...
-In the same vein, how completely corrupt most people are. I found it really depressing.

All together now: Debbie Doooowner!! I know. The hate list was long. But you know what? It's okay, because I still had a great experience that I would never trade for anything. It was painful and beautiful and draining and thrilling all in the same breath, and it was one of the most spiritually significant times of my life. And the "Lessons I Learned" list is longer than both of those combined, so that seems like a win to me. I guess I should probably share that list at some point so you guys don't think that all I did in New York was eat pizza and cookies and trample old people. Though let's be real, I did a lot of that.

I also want to say thanks for living the experience with me. I really am spoiled in the friends and family department, and your love and support helped buoy me up through one of the most intense years of my life, and come out feeling grateful and wiser on the other side.

Thanks for sharing the adventure with me!

Return of the Prodigal Blogger

2010-08-18T18:05:00.000-07:00

What. Is. Up.

So it's only been, what, eight months since my last post? Whatever.

At first I'd been putting off writing because all I wanted to talk about was fleeing New York, but my employers didn't know about my plan to quit yet, and I didn't want to out myself prematurely (even though no one at my work even knows I have a blog, let alone reads it...I think). And then I was too busy with moving/life chaos. And then it just seemed too overwhelming to try and talk about everything that's happened over the better part of this last year. So you know what? I'm letting myself off the hook. I'm just going to do a brief recap of some highlights, and then move right along. Does everyone feel good about that? Good, me too. Buckle up!

Highlights from 2010 (thus far):

I went on a cruise with my mom, cousin, and Auntie (though that was also the vacation that I accidentally gave myself lesbian bangs, so maybe that one's a wash)

I decided to leave New York

I decided to move to Austin

I made out with an Englishman in a bar

I moved to Austin

I took many naps and ate many delicious things

I started/am starting my own personal organizing business

I retired my nanny cape foreber and eber and eber...for real this time

Sarah came to see me!

My hair got really long

I went on a little jaunt to Utah to see my favorite people

And that about brings us current, I'd say.

Here's what I'm looking forward to in the fall:

Being a bridesmaid in Katie's Nashville dream wedding

Wearing the sweater and jacket that I purchased on said vacation in Utah

Thanksgiving in Texas

Not going to school

Starting a garden

Moving into my own place

Filling it with furniture

Finding a way to legally keep a bee hive in my yard

Possibly attending ACL Fest (anyone wanna come with?)

Honing my knitting, needlepoint, crocheting, and cooking skillz

Reading the books in my to-read pile (which is apparently infinite)

So there you have it. Past and Future. Next up: Present. And bonus entry: What I loved and hated about New York.

Backstreet's back, alright!

Me Likey.

2009-12-13T12:51:00.000-08:00

I hate the word likey. Also figgy pudding. And when people say guac instead of guacamole.

Wait - what were we talking about?

Here's what my November looked like:

1. I noveled like a freak-noveling beast. But I did it, dang it. 50,000 words + Nanowrimo=pwned by moi, and I'm so so pleased that I did it. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal, but I was basically white-knuckling it from day 3, and the feeling of having written such a magnum opus is pretty nice. Sad part is, I'm still not even done! As in, there's more story to tell. I've been taking a break for the last few weeks, but it's time to jump back in and wrap this bad boy up so I can move on to the violence of revisions.

2. I discovered the best tv show that no one has ever heard of*: Friday Night Lights**. You guys. I don't even know where to start with this one. It's this perfect of storm of devastating storylines, compelling characters, elegant acting (seriously - the casting in this show is amazing), and evocative settings. It's just unreal. It made me like football. Let me just repeat that so it's full weight can sink in: It made me like football. And on top of that, it's filmed basically where I grew up, and I'm a former hard-core cheerleader (and I loved it - judge if you must), so the whole thing has an especially fond place in my heart. I'm going to try hard not to rhapsodize too much, but let me just say this: Do yourself a favor and watch every single episode ever made. Your life will improve dramatically, all your dreams will come true, you'll get taller, you'll lose weight, people will like you more, etc. etc. etc., and you can thank me later.

3. I moved. Trying to move in Manhattan is the biggest pain that mankind has ever known. EVER. And I don't even have that much stuff here. So many thoughts, so much to tell - I'll have to dedicate a post to my thoughts on life in New York. But my new place is fun, if completely unorthodox. It's four of us in a lofted apartment, which means that there's no actual bedrooms, just designated spaces for everyone. My roommates are nice, but it's...zany. I'm here until February, and then, true to gypsy fashion, I'll move again. At which point I will have been living out of two suitcases for almost two years. Are you kidding me with that? I'm over it.

4. I attempted to finish Anna Karenina. It's not going well. I enjoy it and all, but it's like Bible-long, so I feel like there's no end in sight. I've been working on it for four months, and I'm 150 pages in.5. I started reading The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay last night. And I'm already farther than I am in Anna Karenina. Love that book! Watch Friday Night Lights, and then read that book, and then call me so we can go to lunch and talk about it all.6. Working, churching, friending, etc.

So now I'm getting ready to go home for Christmas, and it's coming not a moment too soon. I'm completely exhausted (New York is positively draining) and so ready to be home with my fam. I will also be using my break to reevaluate what on earth it is I'm doing with my life, so I'll keep you posted on any big developments. Who knows - maybe I'll decide that it's time for me to be an adventure guide in Kenya. Or to move home and take a nap for three months. Whichever.

*besides several of my savvy friends
**Not to be confused with Friday Night Lights the movie, which was decidedly not a hoot.

I need a nap.

2009-11-30T17:36:00.001-08:00

It's go time.

2009-10-22T16:02:00.001-07:00

I considered beginning this entry with an apology for such a giant time lapse since my last entry, but then I realized a) ...uh, who cares?, and b) it's my blog and I'll write when I damn well please. Suck it, cyberspace.

Anyhoo!

I'm going to write a novel in November. Yes, that's right. A 175 page, 50,000 word novel written between November 1 and 30th. My friend Joey turned me on to the idea, and even though I already feel way to weak-sauce to make this happen, I'm in. My writing muscles have gotten shrimpy, and this is going to be just the ill-advised marathon event they need. Holla!

Also, this happened:I'm so spoiled.

Also also, I'm obsessed with my little nanny kids. See what I mean?

TOO. CUTE.

Now I'm going to go make a big salad and some tuna and debate whether or not I'll be going to this concert on the Lower East Side tonight (spoiler alert: probably not - it starts at 10 and I'm a granny with no desire to get r'ed on the subway when I have to find my way home at 3 in the morning).

Seacrest out!

Oh gosh, it's begun.

2009-09-03T12:35:00.000-07:00

So don't even worry - Gossip Girl is filming outside of my apartment. Whatever. That's fine. But here's the funny story for the day: Preston and I had to fight through a throng of papparazzi weirdos to get our groceries home. Because Hilary Duff was walking out of her trailer at the same time. It was so surreal! So my left ear or elbow or something may end up in US Weekly. I'll keep you posted. It really was so strange to see how people really do lose their minds over the prospect of seeing someone famous. Like, are you kidding me? I am way too prideful to follow someone around with my camera phone. How embarrassing.

P.S. Hilary Duff is really short. Way to be, girl.

I Promised Myself...

2009-09-02T12:54:00.001-07:00

I wouldn't be that idiot that moves to New York and then can only talk about "The City" and who posts random, touristy pictures and brags about finding some new hole in the wall place that has the best whatever. That kid is annoying. They're dumb and no one wants to be their friend (except other lame-o's). And I'll still try to keep those impulses in check...but you guys. I live here:

Pretty literally too - we're staying kind of in the right hand corner of the picture. Which, in real life, is at 62nd and Broadway - right across from the Lincoln Center, The Met (the opera), Columbus Circle, Central Park, and heaven, prolly. So far, my experience has been completely retarded. There's no other way to put it. Especially once we got our stuff to our new place - it is ridiculously nice. We don't deserve to live here. Not even kind of. So I'm really not having a gritty, urban experience yet - I'll just have to make up some crap horror story for my Behind the Music. Oh, and p.s. the doorman gave me....wait for it...COOKIES. Cookies, people. If you know me at all, you know cookies are my love language. It feels too good to be true - once that happened, I was positive that I would then return to my room and get shot (that didn't happen though, so that was good).

Anyways, I have a few nanny interviews lined up, and I expect I will have a steady, stable job within a week (unless I completely change my mind about my game plan - not unheard of), so that's a huge relief. I think people think (and I was one of them) that it's harder to get things going here because it's huge and busy and overwhelming, but that's actually what's making it easier. There a shiz-ton of opportunities and things going on - it's just a matter of picking the right fit. That's comforting. I fully intend to be a New-York-life-Jedi while I'm here, and my current apartment is only feeding into my smugness. And I'm not even mad!

So basically: I'm alive, in New York City, and so far, so good. I miss everyone lots and lots, so please still call/email/love me - I need you! Also, I will be unleashing some serious awesomeness in the next few months, so maybe you'll want to come visit me and witness it first hand, yes?

Okay I like you, bye!

FML

2009-08-02T13:52:00.001-07:00

Favorites:

Today, I was holding my baby daughter during a checkup. To reassure her, I was kissing the back of her head while the Dr. was checking her hearing. After a few minutes, I realized the Dr. had put his hand to steady her head. I was kissing his hand. FML.

Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML.

All-time favorite favorite:

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML.

Frivolous

2009-07-26T14:29:00.000-07:00

Watching: Pretty in Pink

Reading: From Bin to Banquet by Vicki E. Talmadge

Listening: Ladies of the Canyon, Joni Mitchell (takes me right back to my days at Great Harvest. Challah!)

Perfumes I love...

Lovely by Sarah Jessica Parker
Heaven by Gap
Dream More by Gap
Classic by Banana Republic

Perfumes I love that don't smell good on me (cruelest irony)...

Rosewood by Banana Republic
Chance by Chanel
Romance by Ralph Lauren
Pleasures by Estee Lauder

Perfumes that I don't love...

Tommy Girl
Clinique Happy
Cool Water

Oh, and I'm moving to NYC in 4 weeks.

Okay bye!

Utah: 2, Heather: still 0

2009-06-18T22:36:00.000-07:00

Today:

I was chased by a Chihuahua

I was pooped on by...something. Still unsure of the source, which is even more troubling.

My bike chain broke when I was 10 blocks from home.

You're a real biotch, Utah.

à ce moment...

2009-06-10T15:45:00.000-07:00

Listening: Ray LaMontagne

Reading: finishing The Marriage Benefit, Mark O'Connell, PhD, then on to The Edible Woman, Margaret Atwood

Mood: comfortably reflective

Yen: Bull Creek circa 2003, in my red bikini and wild hair, laughing in a rainstorm, skipping school with my favorite people (now scattered the world over)

Actor Announcement!

2009-06-07T16:43:00.000-07:00

No-meat May is now over, and here is my conclusion: I'm going to stay (mostly) vegetarian...ish. I don't miss meat as much as I thought I would, and now it's actually kind of hard to eat it again. It just doesn't really appeal to me anymore. Weird huh?

My next month-long goal was going to be to drop sugar, but that lasted about a day and a half, and I can't really find the motivation to get back on the wagon. I don't like the no-sugar wagon. So my new goal is going to be a little different. I am what one might call a "chronic multi-tasker." At any given moment, I'm usually doing at least two different things. Like right now, for instance. I am currently writing this blog, watching America's Next Top Model, talking to a friend on facebook, job hunting, and was about to start a game of Freecell before I started this sentence. Too much. It's too much! It's not like I'm even that good at multi-tasking - I suck at it! I do a hundred things at once thinking I'm being more productive, when really I'm just doing everything halfway because nothing gets my full attention. My attention is scattered, which in turn scatters my thoughts, which scatters my life. So this month I'm going to try really hard to focus more,and to do one thing at a time.

I think I'm going to start that one tomorrow though...

Cry baby

2009-06-03T13:11:00.001-07:00

You guys. I cry now. What is that? Do you remember how I was big on the whole "I'm not a crier. I never cry in front of people, blah blah blah," thing? Yeah, me too. Well, apparently I'm a big fat liar because I cry now. Like, kind of a lot. Too much, really. Here are a few examples:

-yesterday when I went to say goodbye to the kids I nanny...excuse me, used to nanny. I definitely had a little cry about it after I got in the car. Wha? I didn't even like that job!

-Race for the Cure. Sarah can bear powerful testimony on this one. When they trotted out all the survivors, and then I saw that the girl about my age standing in front of me was there in memory of her "mama bear" I LOST IT. Just lost it. I don't think I've ever cried like that in public in my entire life (and please bless I never do again....). Wow.

Now, even though this whole "emotions" thing is a new development, those items are perfectly reasonable occasions to get a little misty. This next one is what really has me concerned:

- I just got choked up watching a commercial for the University of Phoenix! The online one! I don't even know what to say for myself. And I will also confess that this is not the first random commercial to tug at my little heart strings lately. Why? How? And most importantly, WTF?

I will say, however, that while my new-found sensitivity is a little alarming, and a lot foreign, I am actually kind of glad. It's healthier to express yourself, yes? As a musician, this is my number one goal, so I guess the blubbering is a good thing. ...but you may not want to watch any t.v. with me for a while.

Uh oh

2009-05-28T10:53:00.000-07:00

I just smelled a lemon pepper marinade, and had an overwhelming urge to eat a really delicious steak. I literally got emotional.

What am I supposed to do with that?

This one's for you, Ash.

2009-05-23T13:07:00.000-07:00

Oh hi.

The last few weeks =

Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure - I've been meaning to blog about this for awhile, but honestly it's still too soon. I tried telling my mom about it two days ago, and couldn't do it without bawling (and we all know how much I love to cry, not.), so suffice to say it was a really moving, wonderful, tragic, exhausting day, and I'm so so so glad I did it. It was so inspiring to see the women who have survived breast cancer, and all of the friends and family who came out to express their support for them. And it was equally as heartbreaking to see how many people were there on the behalf of the women they love who had lost the fight. Okay wow, yep - too soon. Just know it was fantastic and totally worthwhile, and you should definitely sign up to do it next year.

Figuring out life shiz - my summer plans are slowly coming into sharper focus, which is nice. It's looking like I'll be heading out to New York around August (cross your fingers on that one...), and between now and then, I will be doing the following: experiencing Utah (never bothered before, so now I'm trying to cram in lots of sight-seeing before I go), making a jaunt over to Arizona, also jaunting to Virginia for a bit (couldn't be more pleased - I get to see Karen's world!), Austin at some point (have to get my car there and regroup all my crap - ugh, do you ever just get tired of owning stuff? I sure do.), and hopefully Nashville and L.A. Not sure how I'm going to work out the last two, but it'll happen.

The nannying home-stretch - well that's pretty much all there is to that. I'm done in a little over two weeks. Mixed feelings. I won't miss the job, but I will miss the kids. But I bet I'll get over it!

Life goal update - so in an earlier post I listed a bunch of goals I have for the future, and I felt a little update was in order.

I am now the proud owner of a new bike, and I couldn't be more pleased. It's this little brown vintage beach cruiser thing, and I love it like...a bike that I love a lot. This has let me explore Springville a lot more, which has been really fun - there are tons of old houses and historic spots here, which makes for many scenic rides. I'm just not sure how to get it back to Texas. Oh well, one thing at a time I guess...

I have now played five shows, and I have one and a half more booked for the near future. It will still be a stretch to hit twenty this year, but that's okay - the point is just to get me playing around town again, which I've been doing. Success!

And finally, my EP is in the mixing stages. It's taking about 100 times longer than I want it to, but that's because I'm really impatient and antsy to see it all done. But it will be worth the wait, and I'm expecting it to be done in late June.

Whew. Okay, that felt good.

Meat Panic

2009-05-06T12:49:00.001-07:00

Lately I've been suffering from a mild ailment I'm going to name "meat panic".* It's really not a big issue - it's just that with this whole going vegetarian for a month thing, comes the anxiety of accidentally or unconsciously consuming meat products. I literally have a little panic attack (very little, but still) after every meal, where I have to try and remember everything I ate and make sure I didn't violate my own experiment. I know that this is silly, but it's important to me to have as pure an experience as possible. And so far, so good. I really don't think being a vegetarian would be that big of a deal. I like that it's easier on your digestive system, and truth be told, it's forced me to eat healthier (because no meat + my general disdain for super-processed/fast food = fine, I'll eat the damn salad!). Even so, my love of mexican food and barbeque endures, so I think the best I could ever do is be a 'flexitarian'. Yes, you heard correctly.

Flexitarian. n. One who normally maintains a vegetarian diet but occasionally makes exceptions and eats meat or fish.

Basically, it means I eat whatever the crap I want to. I feel really good about that. Food is not religion. Food is not a morality issue. I don't need to take a stance with food, or do battle against it. Therefore, I don't subscribe to the notion that my diet has to be black and white, this or that, all or nothing. I only say that because all the reading I've been doing on the subject (including "Skinny Bitch" - read it! you'll love it!) kind of makes it seem like all roads should point to this one end (veganism), and I just don't think that that has to be the case. Moderation in all things, right? So, in conclusion, veg-month is going well. And who knows? Maybe next month I'll up the ante a bit and go vegan for a bit. But at the end of the day, I could live in a world without pork enchiladas and Safeway peanut butter cups...I just don't want to.

Amen.

*not to be confused with "the meat sweats" (see: Joey from Friends)

Songs to Lose Your Virginity to...

2009-04-30T20:54:00.000-07:00

That's right. I said it. I've been composing a honeymoon playlist probably since I was about 14, and the more I talk to people, the more I realize that I'm not the only one! How interesting. The only downside was that I never actually kept track of any of those songs that I picked when I was younger (which is probably okay considering artists such as Robyn or N'sync were possibly on the list. I'm not proud.), so I'm creating a new one now.

So far I have the following:

1. Gravity by John Mayer
2. Feeling Good by Michael Buble
3. It's You by Annie Stela
4. Eleanor by Cake Bake Betty
5. Virginia by Chris Merritt
6. Arizona by Chris Merritt
7. Delicate by Damien Rice
8. Title and Registration by Death Cab Cutie
9. Name by Goo Goo Dolls
10. Because I Told You So by Jonatha Brooke
11. Falling in Love in at a Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg
12. Ballerina by Leona Naess
13. One Kind of Love by Leona Naess
14. Sandalwood by Lisa Loeb
15. You and I by Michael Buble
16. Childhood Dreams by Nelly Furtado
17. Jealous of the Moon by Nickel Creek
18. Strange Condition by Pete Yorn
19. Be Be Your Love by Rachael Yamagata
20. I See Monsters by Ryan Adams

Please feel free to share your own playlists - you know you have one.

Three Things

2009-04-30T20:47:00.000-07:00

1. I will be going vegetarian for the month of May. Thank you to Ashley for my chicken/pasta send-off. I'm not sure I'm ready to make this kind of commitment, but I figure if I don't just dive in, I'll never do it. ...wah.

2. I had a dream I was engaged to Zac Efron, and it was the best dream I've had in a long time. Here's the thing though - I couldn't care less about Zac Efron. He is not a celebrity crush of mine. I think he is too pretty, and I feel like a pedophile if I ever do think he is cute. However. He was a really good kisser in my dream, so...maybe I'll be reevaluating some things. Look out, Vanessa Hudgens.

3. Eff. I totally forgot what the third thing was going to be. That is really going to bother me. And what's worse is I'll probably remember it tonight somewhere around 3 a.m., only to forget when I wake up in the morning. Life is so cruel sometimes.

Ohhhh, puppy!

2009-04-25T21:07:00.000-07:00

I've decided it's time to start incorporating pictures into my posts. You know me, I like to keep it spicy. So here's a picture of a bizarre/injured puppy thing to get us started. You're welcome.

High-five, DIA!

2009-04-20T19:40:00.000-07:00

At the moment I'm sitting in the C terminal of the Denver International Airport, and will continue to do so for another hour or so. But I'm not even mad! Know why? Because this airport is fantastic, that's why. In fact, it's my favorite airport. Some of it's amenities include: lots of moving sidewalk thingies, a nice layout and interior, the fact that it's in Denver (one of my favorite cities), and finally...wait for it...free wi-fi! Woo! Really that's all it takes to make me happy, so this layover is definitely a success.

So my life for the last couple of weeks =

- my first spring break since high school! And of course I used my time to go home to Austin - partly because I was a little homesick (oddly enough - it hits me at weird times), and partly because I needed to switch out my winter stuff for spring clothes. It was such a great week too - lots of my favorite people were in town randomly, the weather was lovely, and I got to see my fam. God bless Texas!

-I have officially finished tracking my EP, and it is now in the mixing stages. Which means that it should be listenable in the next week or so. Now all I have to do is get some album art going (sorry, Jess - I'll try to figure out what on earth I want!), so I can have a proper album to peddle. I'm so very excited. Oh, and if you have any ideas for what the cover should look like, tell me! Because I'm sure drawing a blank...

-I'm pretty giddy about two new side projects I've picked up lately. They're still in the early stages, but they are Joey's and my brainchildren, and will be appropriately awesome. We're co-authoring a book, and starting a new business, so stay tuned.

-It has almost come time for me to move again; I can feel it. I'm starting to feel like Juliette Binoche in Chocolat, but with an inferior wardrobe (though that is slowly being remedied). Any suggestions on where I should go?

-My nanny job is coming to a close, and I am having mixed feelings. On the one hand, hallelujah, because nothing could possibly rival the sheer exhaustion that comes with taking care of a million kids all day everyday. But on the other hand, I love those kiddos! The double-edged sword of nannying is that if you aren't attached to the kids, you aren't doing it right. But I can tell that my nannying season is coming to a close, and that's okay - I'm ready to move on to something else, and that's exciting. However, quitting your job in this economic climate is tantamount to madness, so if you know of any job in need of a warm body come June, you should prolly tell me.

Dear Diary...

2009-03-31T21:45:00.000-07:00

Today I did my first music-y interview with one of my favorite people/oldest friends, Joseph Halbert. You can read it here. So do! You should also read all the other stuff he's written because basically he's a genius and a wit. Read it, fall in love (with Joey)and thank me later.

Confession Time

2009-03-30T10:47:00.000-07:00

I love t.v. Love it. LOVE IT. And you know what? I'm not ashamed. Everyone has their outlet, and this is one of mine. However, once I sat down and really took inventory of what shows I keep up on, I was a wee bit alarmed by the sheer volume. Eek. In my defense, I rarely ever actually watch actual t.v. - I get my fix(es) from the likes of Hulu and network sites that post their shows. ...I don't know how that's any different, but I feel like it is, so I'm sticking with it. These are the shows I watch:

1. Chuck
2. Medium
3. Heroes (though it's pretty awful these days, ugh)
4. The Office
5. 30 Rock
6. House
7. Lie to Me (which is so good! you learn things! yesssss!)
8. How I Met Your Mother
9. Grey's Anatomy (not sure why - also pretty awful)

Actually I thought there were more than that. Huh. Well, I stopped short of double digits, and I feel really good about that. So there you have it. This is just who I am.

Quickly, quickly

2009-03-28T18:51:00.000-07:00

This last week was awesome. I can think of no better word for it. I got to play two different gigs, and they went great. If you didn't go, we might be in a fight. EP stuff is going smashingly - we recorded drums on Wednesday, and are in the home stretch toward mixing everything. I'm thinking I want to do a release party for it sometime in the spring. What do you think? I'm going to commission some album art from Jess, and get some new pictures taken (there comes a point where you can no longer rely on your high school senior pictures...if just for dignity's sake), and whip it all into a lovely little CD snack that I will then hawk and post and basically prostitute around. And I couldn't be more pleased. So that's me this week. More to come on Monday!

Utah 1, Heather 0

2009-03-18T12:15:00.001-07:00

My dad called me today to let me know that there's a warrant out for my arrest in Utah County.

...I think that says it all, really.

To do...

2009-03-16T13:47:00.000-07:00

I don't make New Year's resolutions. Ever. I think they're silly. BUT I love to make lists of goals, and I made a particularly awesome one for 2009 (well, really it's just goals for the future in general), so I thought I'd post a few here along with a status report on each.

Physical

-Drink more water: So far, so good - dropping soda was the best idea ever

-Cut out refined sugar: ...I don't want to talk about it

-Take a dance class: Zumba what!

-Go back to my natural hair color: I'm a little over 3/4 of the way there. Which is kind of not-hot. Oh well...

-Get massages: Definitely still need to take care of this one. Any volunteers?

Spiritual

-Read scriptures/pray everyday: I'm back on the wagon after a brief hiccup. Life is just so much better when I keep up with this one.

-Pray at mealtimes: Still struggling with this one - it's hard to remember when I don't have many meals where I actually sit down and eat, but I still think it's an important gesture.

-Write down promptings: Really haven't gotten to this one yet, but it's important to me. In fact, now that I think of it, I'm going to move it way up the list.

Intellectual

-Keep up with writing in my journal: Check - at least, i'm catching it up right now, and then it will be a check

-Brush back up on French: uh, I'll get to that one some day. I really miss being fluent. :(

-Keep up with current events: I'm doing just alright on that one, which I feel is probably better than a lot of people, unfortunately. But I like to know what's going on so I can have an opinion.

Financial

-Credit card paid off: that one should come to pass by the end of April and I couldn't be more pleased. Huzzah!

-Focus on abundance, as opposed to having just enough: It's hard to rate this one, but I'd say I'm shifting my attitude little by little. I just think it's important to focus on creating the life you want instead of just eking out an existence in survival mode all the time. It's a tough paradigm to adopt when you are perpetually broke, but I think it's one of the first steps to fixing it.

Professional

-Get a new demo recorded: In progress! I'm recording four new songs right now with a really brilliant producer - Jordan Clark. Seriously, he's magic. It's going to be fannntastic.

-Play 20 shows this year: Uh, well so far I've done 1. But that's a good start, right?

-Write 10 new songs this year: Also have done 1. Also a good start.

Personal (my favorite)

-Find cute, durable cowboy boots: Still a work in progress, but I'm so looking forward to the day when I finally have them.

-Buy a record player: I'm waiting on this one til I actually live somewhere semi-permanent, but it's another day I'm looking forward to. I'll probably just sit around in my boots and listen to music for a couple days, and I think that's healthy.

-Get a bike: Another one I'm waiting on, but also very excited about. I'm thinking something green. No tassles. Possible basket?

Okay, so those are a few of my goals - there's about a bajillion more I didn't post (you're welcome). You know, I thought that having such a large list would overwhelm me, but really it's just gotten me excited to get things done. And slowly, but surely, that's what I've been doing.

Okay bye!

Like the warblings of birds on the heather...

2009-03-10T10:20:00.000-07:00

Today's title (and layout) is a shoutout to my favorites, Jessica and Becky - thank you for keeping me entertained at church.

So I figure, since I already gave you a top 5 list of things I would blog about, why not just stick to it? Here we go:

1. Funny story: Jessica, Ashley, and I made a valiant effort to rejoin polite society this last weekend and were brutally rebuffed (screw you, Movies 8), which led to us Redbox-hopping, and watching a movie at Ashley's house. The funny part came when the movie was over and I was trying to extract myself from the lovesac/couch situation. It did not go well. My foot got tangled in the lovesac (I think - it all happened so fast...), and basically I just ate it onto Ashley's lap and broke my fall by smushing her cookies. ...I don't think that's how you spell smushing, but still. Classic Heather.

2. Future feelings: This last year has been so strange and wonderful and it's taught me a lot. For those of you who don't know, I haven't lived in one place longer than 3 months in almost a year. I haven't paid rent in a year. I've spent most my time living off the kindness of others (and their couches and lovesacs - thanks again, ash!). Basically, I've bloomed into a bonafide "broke musician", I suppose. But here's what I've learned: Life is messy and that's okay. I guess I've known that for a long time, but I'm finally putting it into practice. As uncomfortable as it is for me, I've learned to let go of my need to keep a death-grip on my life plans, let go of what I thought things were supposed to look like, and I'm learning to just enjoy the ride. And I really am. This last year has been ridiculous, and stressful, and lovely all at the same time. Life really is an adventure if you can be brave enough to just get out of its way. So that's what I've been working on lately - to have my goals and know what I want, but without trying to boss life around about how I'm going to get there. I read a book that my roommate let me borrow last spring called The Jackrabbit Factor by Leslie Householder and it messed me up in the best way possible. It's such a fantastic book - go read it! You can thank me later.

3. Rants: Hmmm, I can't really think of a lot that has upset me this week - in fact, it's been a really great week. Surely there's something that has made me insane with anger? Ooh! Okay, I just thought of two:

Snow: =the bane of my existence. I have had *cough* several winters here in Utah now, and I have to say, I'm still not a fan. It has not grown on me, I still do not love it, and I would still prefer to be pleasantly warm, if not uncomfortably hot, at all times. This morning I was twenty minutes late to work because my car froze shut. FROZE SHUT. I literally had to chisel it out of its icy tomb with my paltry little key. I was not pleased. NOT PLEASED

The random drop by: This one may not make sense to everyone, because I think my annoyance stems pretty much from where/how I was raised, but here's the thing: it is completely rude, tacky, and usually awkward to drop by people's houses unannounced, invite yourself in, and then proceed to force your fabulous small talk on its inhabitants. And for some reason - maybe because of the whole student ward/apartment living thing - this practice is practically an epidemic at BYU. It's not okay. Not even kind of okay. If you want to see me, fine. But call me first - make sure I'm home, make sure I'm in a position to have company over (not trying to get something done or getting ready for bed), and make sure that I actually know who you are and would ever want to see you at my house. Also, if I don't know you that well, don't try to come to my house after 9 p.m. Visiting hours are over after that and I've moved on to hanging out with people I actually know and like, even if it's just myself. Friends are a different story - for example, I totally reserve the right to drop by jess's house unannounced, but even then, I still give the courtesy call. Honestly, people - who raised you? And heaven help you if you are a boy who is trying to date me. Here's a little insider hint: I will like you less - much much less - if I don't really know you yet and you just show up at my house. Give me a heads up so I can look cute (if I like you) or inform you that I'm busy (if I don't like you, or I really am busy). This is one of my favorite things about living in Springville now - no one I don't want to see knows where I live. Ha!

4. General Philosophizing: Well, I've probably already said enough, so I'll keep this one pithy. I think the things that don't work out in life, love, whatever, are often just as big of a blessing as the things that do. True story.

5. Random fact about me: I am a compulsive door locker. I'll lock doors and not even remember doing it, that's how unconscious it is for me. Wull! I just don't want to get kidnapped or R'ed.

Oh gosh, this is it...

2009-03-06T11:01:00.001-08:00

Pft pft pft...is this thing on? Hello?

Oh hi! Welcome to my blog, everyone (all 4 of you maybe?). So today's a big day for me - it's the day I officially rejoin the blogging world. All I can say is: it's time. However, while I'm really pumped to be on the blogging bandwagon, I'm running into that whole "yay! ...now what?" wall. So this first post may be a little rocky, but bear with me. Let's get started, shall we?

I love lists, so I've composed a couple to share with you:

Top 5 things that happened this week (in no particular order):

1. Allyson's kickboxing class on Thursday. I woke up today feeling like a (really sore) superhero.
2. Playing the open mic night at Velour, which led to me setting up a time to get some stuff recorded this weekend. This move is loooooong overdue and feels so right.
3. Buying a new turn signal light thingy. I am slowly but surely getting on the right side of the law. Someday!
4. Starting this blog! Yay!
5. Getting my new ac adapter in the mail, thereby resurrecting my poor little laptop from an early grave. Huzzah!

Top 5 crap things that happened this week:

1. My Sansa fried, taking all my music with it. Boo, you whore.
2. I have not quelled my spending surge yet. Ugh, seriously - it feels like I'm practically hemorrhaging money, whoops.
3. Getting my nanny-family ready for their vacation - actually that one wasn't so bad. It was just a really long day, but now I have about a week of near-vacation, so I guess that one's a wash.
4. umm...I think I actually ran out of bad things. That's good, right?

Top 5 things I'll probably blog the most about:

1. Funny things you already knew about because you were with me
2. Thoughts and feelings about "my future"...I don't know why I just put that in quotes...
3. Rants - in fact, I may take this thing private so that I can have a little more leeway to rip people a new one without their knowledge or consent. Hmm.
4. General philosophizing.
5. Funny memories/random fun facts about me - believe me, there's a lot to tell...

I feel like that's a pretty healthy start. I'll try to think of something truly spectacular for my next one - any suggestions/requests are more than welcome. Unless I don't know you, in which case quit reading my blog, you creep.

Okay bye!